Dear Abby: I am divorced, successful, and the father of two teenage girls. I have been seeing my girlfriend, “Stella,” for a year and a half. She also has two teenage daughters. When we met, Stella’s divorce was becoming final, and her house was near the tail end of a foreclosure. The sheriff removed her from her home a few months later.
I bought a couple of condos and let Stella choose one and move into it. She agreed she would pay the bills and some rent once she settled in.
Two weeks after she moved in, she quit her job. It has been almost a year, and she hasn’t gone on one job interview. I pay all her bills now, and I’m getting resentful.
It’s not the money (I’ve got plenty), but I feel she sees me only so she can live rent-free. Our communication isn’t the greatest, and she gets angry if this topic is brought up.
Dear Sugar Daddy: Of course she gets angry! Have you never heard the saying, “The best defense is a strong offense”?
If you want to resolve this, you must be prepared for Stella to react negatively. Start the conversation by saying, “When you moved into my condo, you agreed to pay your own bills and some rent. It’s been a year, and you haven’t even looked for a job.” Then give her a date by which you want her to move out.
Because she has been living there for some time, she may have certain tenant’s rights that will have to be respected. It doesn’t take a crystal ball to see that you will probably have to evict her — so talk to your attorney before you discuss this with Stella.
Dear Abby: My fiancee, “Tina,” and I made a resolution to lose weight for our wedding. Because men lose weight faster than women, I now weigh less at 6 foot 1 than she does at 5 feet 4.
Tina already has self-esteem issues. I want to look good for our wedding, but not at the cost of my fiancee’s hurt feelings. What can I do?
Dear At A Loss: Continue being supportive and help Tina maintain her self-esteem. But her weight issue is hers, not yours. If she gets frustrated or depressed that she isn’t losing quickly enough, suggest she consult her doctor or a registered dietitian.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.