May 1, 2009 at 1:00 am

Tom Long Film Review: 'Ghosts of Girlfriends Past' -- GRADE: D

Shallow 'Ghosts' deserves burying

Matthew McConaughey is a self-centered jerk and Jennifer Garner is the childhood friend he loved and left in "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past." (New Line Cinema)

Are women really all that hot for Matthew McConaughey?

Is he really so overwhelmingly attractive that they'll want to watch him play a self-centered jerk in a dating-game version of "A Christmas Carol"?

Can they possibly be drawn to his character even though the guy treats his legions of lovers like disposable tissues?

Of course, according to "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past," that's what women really want: To be abused and used as

throwaway sex objects.

Please, ladies, don't go see this movie. (Chances are most men would rather put out their eyes than go see a film with such a title.)

McConaughey stars as Connor Mead, a born-rich playboy fashion photographer who believes love is hooey and casual sex is the only kind of sex worth having.

But he still shows up for the wedding of his younger brother Paul (Breckin Meyer) to Sandra (Lacey Chabert). Among the bridesmaids is Jenny (Jennifer Garner, why are you in this movie?), the childhood friend he loved and left.

Also in attendance is his deceased uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas), a playboy who gave Connor all of his tips on seducing women (treat them like idiots, basically). Wayne, obviously seeking redemption, sends Connor on a tour of his past, present and future with a series of female ghosts.

Which leads to his enlightenment on all things romantic. After he spends most of the movie reinforcing all kinds of terrible stereotypes.

The only way a film this preposterous and obnoxious can work is if it's riding on some very charming shoulders. McConaughey's shoulders just aren't that charming.

But then that's coming from a dude. So, again: Are women really all that hot for Matthew McConaughey?

Sure hope not.

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