Will Rhymes might be the Tigers’ most entertaining second baseman, but Jim Leyland will have to decide if he’s their most productive. (Robin Buckson/The Detroit News)
Back by popular demand — or because Wednesday was an off day and they needed to fill space — The Detroit News' intrepid baseball writers Tom Gage and Lynn Henning have agreed to disagree again.
They argue all the time about weighty matters, actually. Like about whether "The Simpsons" are really funny or can be easily taken or left. In the spirit of privacy, we won't tell you who thinks they're really funny, so you're safe there, Lynn.
Without further ado — is there ado that isn't further? — let's get into this dignified, respectful discussion du jour.
Tom: Congratulations, Lynn.
Lynn: Thank you. For what?
T: For being as wrong as you can almost possibly be with your roster predictions.
L: Such as?
T: Such as Clete Thomas making the team.
L: We both predicted that.
T: And Robbie Weinhardt making the team.
L: Which you also predicted. Keep going.
T: Scott Sizemore — gotcha.
L: Yeah, had him at second base all along, which has endeared me to Will Rhymes.
T: What's up with that? You even knew William & Mary was his college, not his uncle and aunt. But let's tweet-talk about Rhymes — .140 characters or less with each thought, remember.
We agree he's fun to watch, right?
L: Fun, and skilled. There was never any question he had skills.
T: And I think we agree he has major-league talent, right?
L: I simply thought Sizemore would give them more sock and on-base average, and he might yet.
T: Yeah, and thanks for answering my next question before I asked it.
Come to think of it, you did that last time, too. Sounds like a guy who probably said "I do" midway through his vows last December. Did he, Susie, did he?
Darn it, now I've over-tweeted and we have to change subjects.
Who will be the last two pitchers on the staff?
L: Adam Wilk and Brayan Villarreal.
Wilk has been in clover for the past two weeks. Villarreal finalized matters, I think, on Monday, when he destroyed three batters with that fastball-slider package.
T: I thought it was slider-fastball, but no big deal. If we're wrong, Enrique Gonzalez gets the last laugh.
Who will be the last two position players to make it?
L: This one's been a grab-bag all camp. Brennan Boesch and Casper Wells will make it in the outfield. Danny Worth heads for Triple A, but only for a spell.
T: What am I, the Dirks-only analyzer? Great spring, Andy, and someday soon, you'll play in the majors, but not yet, not yet.
L: Agreed. He should make it. But I suspect he'll get a few more weeks at Toledo.
T: One more, give me the exact date when Carlos Guillen will return. Your best guess, Carnac.
L: Not to be flippant, but I don't think he will.
T: Ever?
L: Too much lingering discomfort. The Tigers will need to get on with their lives. Guillen probably gets bought out even if he escapes the DL.
T: Man, you know how to take the oomph out of a May 1 answer. Now I might not even say it.
I'm almost afraid to ask you what you think will happen next. For that matter, I'm afraid to ask myself.
And good luck asking Jim Leyland what will happen next.
"End of conversation. Next question."
"Where were you guys? You're usually hanging around like wolves."
But you know, we're lucky. Leyland tries to give us as much information as he feels free to give us. And he puts up with us.
I don't know about you, but I can ask some pretty duh! questions.
How would you like to be interviewed by us on a daily basis?
L: I'd love the brisk dialogue matched by our impressive substance. And, by the way, "The Simpsons" are the best art this side of the Louvre.
T: Playing the Paris card now, are you? I'm a Musee d'Orsay man myself.
That said, start packing, my friend, spring training has almost sprung. We'll do this again next month back home.
Not sure if that's a promise or a threat, though.
L: It's a threat. Just ask Leyland.
twitter.com/Tom_Gage
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