Buy a coney, help THAW

It seems to me like we've had a mild winter, but that's a relative term. It's not that balmy when your house doesn't have heat.

That's where THAW comes in, where American Coney Island comes in, and where I show up, too, at 11 a.m. today.

THAW, the Heat and Warmth Fund, helped keep the furnace burning for 12,000 Michigan households in 2010-11. CEO Susan Sherer expects that number to jump this year, even as temperatures do the same.

"You can look around your church or your neighborhood," she says, "and somebody there is probably getting some THAW assistance." Or you can look around your favorite coney island, which might or might not be American.

THAW's big annual fundraiser is the 31-hour Winter Survival Radiothon on WWJ-AM (950), which gets rolling at 5 a.m. Friday. With help from matching donor DTE and other corporate compadres, the radiothon has collected $8 million in nine years, and Sherer is crossing her fingers for $1.6 million this week.

She has somewhat lesser expectations for the inaugural Celebrity Coneys for a Cause, where I'll be one of your friendly servers until noon and some other familiar figures will pull shifts until 2 p.m. The downtown American Coney will pass along a chunk of the proceeds, we'll donate our lavish tips, and with luck we'll put a few drops in the bucket.

Others on duty early include morning radio voices Dr. Don Carpenter of WYCD-FM (99.5) and Charlie Langton of WXYT-AM (1270), Charlie LeDuff of WJBK-TV (Channel 2), and basketball broadcaster Greg Kelser.

Later, you might come across former hockey players Darren Banks and Brent Fedyk, Seth Gold of "Hardcore Pawn," Bill McAllister and Mike Stone of WXYT-FM (97.1), rapper Trick Trick and singers Kem and Thornetta Davis.

That assumes, of course, that you'll cross the threshold of American Coney Island in the first place.

I'm remaining neutral

American vs. Lafayette is a lot like Hatfields vs. McCoys, except the Southerners haven't killed anyone since 1890. Passionate fans of the bordering coneys on Lafayette Boulevard assassinate reputations and characters on a daily basis.

Me, I'm neutral — the Switzerland of coney customers. I like to stand out on the sidewalk and take bets on whose waiter will drag me inside first.

That doesn't explain why I'll be dropping plates at American instead of its rival, but an even greater mystery is how Sherer could go 15 years without a coney. She plans to make up for that today, "fully loaded."

Then she'll go back to providing a warm glow everyplace from Luna Pier to Lake Superior.

Getting to know THAW

A few quick facts about THAW:

About 65 percent of the homes where it helps with heating bills are in southeastern Michigan, and about 40 percent of those are in the suburbs. A bungalow in Detroit, with its older appliances, creaky furnace and drafty windows, might have the same utility bill as a comparative palace in Auburn Hills.

Some of the clients are chronically needy, but many are the working poor or the recently unemployed.

"We work both sides of the equation," Sherer says, bridging the gap to help people through the winter, or sealing windows and changing light bulbs to cut costs and make payments more affordable.

And speaking of both sides, she doesn't take one in the coney tussle. It was THAW's public relations partner, not the nonprofit, that chose American.

That's right, says the P.R. company. American is one of its clients, so it was a natural fit, and you got a problem with that?

Nope. I'm just glad to help. And for those American-thrashing Lafayette fans who see the coney war as a crusade:

Don't blame me. I only work there.

nrubin@detnews.com

(313) 222-1874