Sylvester Stallone, top, and Arnold Schwarzenegger star as prisoners in 'Escape Plan.' (Alan Markfield)
The one-liners. The fistfights. The grunts. The big explosion at the end.
Yes, this must be that new movie starring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
And the good news is it’s not as bad as you might expect while still managing to be everything you expect. Lots of muscling about, but very few muscles actually on display. Some plot confusion, but not enough to derail things. Standard-issue action movie quips, but no overkill.
“Escape Plan” has Stallone playing Breslin, who breaks out of prisons for a living. He goes in undercover as a con, sizes the joint up, then escapes, letting those in charge know the prison’s weak points.
Then Breslin gets the job of jobs. The CIA has created a super-prison for the world’s worst that no one knows about, and they want Breslin to check it out. So in he goes.
Except once inside, the place turns out to be pretty awful, so he asks to leave. But the evil warden (Jim Caviezel) knows nothing about Breslin’s secret assignment. Turns out Breslin’s partner (Vincent D’Onofrio) has sold him out for foggy reasons.
Breslin meets Rottmayer (Schwarzenegger) on the prison floor (would such a tough prison really let bad guys socialize so much?) and together the two set about planning an escape. Their plan involves punching a lot of people, including one another, because that works in most prisons.
If this all sounds like one long geriatric episode of “Prison Break,” it is. But as Hollywood vehicles for aging action stars go, it’s at least serviceable. Of course it’s ridiculous, but what else would you expect? It’s Stallone and Schwarzenegger. ’Nuff said.
Rated R for violence and language throughout
Running time: 116 minutes