Dear Abby: I am a happily married, heterosexual cross-dressing male. My wife understands and is supportive, and we have a wonderful life together.
During the past week I have been caught unexpectedly by three different neighbors, and we are now in a state of panic. Weíre not sure what to do. If you have any suggestions, we are all ears.
Caught in a Panic
Dear Caught: Because you would prefer to keep your cross-dressing private and this is October, you could tell your neighbors your female attire is what youíll be wearing to a costume party. Itís plausible.
However, when someone is ďcaughtĒ engaging in a private activity once ó thatís an accident. When it happens three times in one week, I canít help but wonder whether on some level you would like to be more open about your lifestyle.
If youíre not aware, a resource, the Society for the Second Self (Tri-Ess International), offers support for heterosexual cross-dressers as well as their spouses, partners and families. It has been in my column before and is the oldest and largest support organization for cross-dressers and those who love them. It promotes cross-dressing with dignity and decency, and treats spouses on an equal basis with their cross-dressers. You can learn more about it at tri-ess.org.
Dear Abby: My best friendís husband has been texting me. When he did it the first time, he had been drinking and my friend was asleep. Some of the things he said made me uncomfortable, but I also didnít like that he said his wife didnít know what he was doing. He stopped after I told him I was uncomfortable with it.
Now he has started up again, offering support because my mother passed away recently. I am honestly not sure whether heís trying to be a good friend or if heís looking for something more, and that scares me. I donít want to start trouble between my friend and her husband, especially because they seem so happy together. Any ideas on how to handle this?
Unsettled in Ohio
Dear Unsettled: Yes. Your friendís husband may be a genuinely sympathetic person ó or he could be trying to take advantage of you while youíre emotionally vulnerable. Listen to your gut. Tell him you appreciate his thoughtfulness, but you already have a support system in place and are receiving all of the emotional support you need.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.