Dear Abby: Why is a wedding always about the bride? Why is the groom often ignored and the occasion not about BOTH of them? I find this offensive as a man who, by tradition, is supposed to “take care of her,” but is ignored as a partner in the relationship.
The whole deal about the day being about the bride is sexist, as far as I’m concerned. Television shows like “Bridezillas” make men look like idiots who have no value in a marriage. What are your thoughts?
Man Who Matters in Florida
Dear Man Who Matters: These shows you refer to depend on shock value to attract and sustain an audience, and some of the goings-on that are portrayed are so far-out as to be freakish. Please don’t mistake reality TV for reality because nothing could be further from the truth.
Much has changed in marriage customs in the last decades. Traditionally, weddings were paid for by the parents of the bride. There was little monetary input from the groom’s family, and they didn’t expect to assist in planning the event. Today, however, many couples postpone marriage until they are older and financially independent. They pay for their own weddings and plan them as partners.
Dear Abby: I’m a senior in high school who is already taking college classes. I have told my mom I plan to become a special education teacher. I have been an aide in the special ed class for years now, and I love it.
My mother and grandmother are not supportive. They say I should be a nurse, so I can earn better money, and they tell me I won’t be able to find a job if I become a special ed teacher. What should I do when they keep bringing this up?
Thinking About My Future
Dear Thinking: Don’t be drawn into an argument over this. As much as you are think about your future, so do your mom and grandmother.
Because you are taking college classes, talk with a counselor at the school about the kinds of job openings there are for special education teachers. Visit the library and do some research. Both would be intelligent ways to get a glimpse of what will be in store for you if you choose to go into that field.
Dear Abby: I am turning 60 and naturally looking a little “worn.” My man friend keeps telling me I need a facelift and to lose 10 pounds, so I’m starting to save my money. Something tells me he wants a “hot chick” and thinks he’ll have one once I get these procedures done. It’s expensive. What do you think?
Dear Louisianan: It’s not only expensive; as with any other major surgery, there is some risk involved. If you had said you wanted cosmetic surgery because YOU thought you needed it, I would say to go ahead. However, if it’s only because your man friend is pushing you, then he should save HIS money and offer to foot the bill.
P.S. He must be an optimist because there’s no guarantee that with 10 pounds off and a new face you wouldn’t start looking for a younger man.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.