Dear Abby: My best friend is getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor. She has also asked me to buy an expensive dress, host a lavish shower Iím afraid I canít afford and plan a destination bachelorette party. The cost will be exorbitant.
On top of this, she has asked me to be her ďcoverĒ when she lies to her fiance about where she is. She has admitted to me that she has cheated on him, and I think sheís doing it again.
I know itís not my place to question her or tell her what to do, but Iím now hesitant to commit financially to her wedding. Should I talk to her about this? I donít want to lose my best friend, but I also donít want to put my money on the line for someone who isnít being honest.
Dragging My Heels
in New York
Dear Dragging Your Heels: Do not question your friend or tell her what to do, but DO convey to her that you canít be her maid of honor because you canít afford the cost. And the next time she asks you to cover for her, tell her you no longer want to be a party to deceiving her fiance.
Your best friend sounds like a piece of work, and if it costs you the friendship, you wonít have lost much. This girl lacks both judgment and character, and youíll be better off to distance yourself. Both of you should mingle with people with whom you have more in common.
Dear Abby: I donít know where to start so I will just plunge in: I have five kids by five different men. I am not a terrible per≠son. I have a job, take care of my babies and am working toward a degree. But sometimes I feel like the ultimate loser. I get judged all the time. Iím so ashamed of the choices I have made in life. Will it ever be better?
5 Kids, 5 Dads
Dear 5-5: You will see an im≠provement as soon as you stop beating yourself up over the cho≠ices you have made. No one can change the past. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and make a decision not to repeat them. And as to those who judge you, they should judge not, lest they, too, be judged.
Dear Abby: My husband thinks we should snuggle and sleep together even when weíre sick. I think itís common courtesy to keep a respectable distance from loved ones and to clean up after yourself when you have a ďbugĒ that is communicable. I need to stay as healthy as possible to fulfill the needs of our child, the housework and my job. Your thoughts?
Married To A Man-child Who
Needs A Mommy
Dear Married To A Man-child: Your husband may think Iím heartless, but I agree with you. While he may ďneedĒ you emotionally, his rational self should accept that with a child in the house and the demands of your job, you need to stay well and functional.
The ďcuddlingĒ can wait until heís no longer contagious.
But donít forget to sympathize.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.