Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford’s latest commercials are a nightmare. Well, at least one of them.
That’s the gist of Stafford’s latest ads for satellite provider Dish. In the first ad (seen above, or by clicking here), Stafford plays a bumbling surgeon who has to be stopped from cutting open a patient with an electric saw. Helpfully, he holds up a book titled “My First Surgery,” so we know he is not really a surgeon.
The message: You don’t want an NFL quarterback as your surgeon, and you don’t want anything but Dish for college football.
Ignoring the fact Dish is using an NFL player to promote college football for some reason, we move on to the next spot (seen below or by clicking here. It’s titled “Matthew Stafford’s Nightmare,” and no, it’s not about throwing 19 interceptions in a season.
The spot begins with Stafford lost in the forest, possibly the backwoods of the NFC North. There he is informed by a puppet that looks suspiciously like the creepy DIRECTV marionettes — which will, in fact, give your nightmares — he is locked into an expensive satellite contract.
Unless these commercials were Stafford’s idea, he really shouldn’t be blamed. He’s shown comedic chops in the past, but the material here is just bland. For now, we’ll just hope ESPN enlists his services again.