August 1, 2014 at 1:00 am

Dear Abby: Jeanne Phillips

Diabetic friend has close call in a lake house

Dear Abby: My husband and I have a lake house and invited a couple (close friends) to join us for a few days. The husband has cancer and has been taking chemo. We wanted them both to rest, as the wife is his only caregiver.

The second night they were there, the husband went to bed very early and the three of us were visiting. At one point, my friend went into the kitchen. When she didn’t come out, I went to check on her and found her close to a diabetic coma.

It was frightening. We were an hour from the nearest hospital and had no cell rece­p­tion. We didn’t know where her meds were.

If you travel with someone you know has a medical condition, is it OK to ask where they keep their meds in case of an emergency?

Caring Friend
in California

Dear Caring Friend: Of course it’s OK. And a perfect way to lead up to that question would be to relate the story you have written to me.

Dear Abby:
My husband, for the most part, is a happy-go-luc­ky, funny person. But once we sit down to dinner, he starts criticizing and making mean comments about me. Once dinner is over, he’s back to being pleasant.

I have tried ignoring his com­ments, changing the subject, as­king calmly for him to make his concerns known before or after rather than during the meal. I have sought the counsel of a therapist. I am at my wits’ end.

It’s All Good, Until …

Dear It’s All Good: When someone tells me, “It’s all good” and then describes a marriage in which her husband beats her down emotionally once a day, I have to wonder what her definition of “good” is. For whatever reason, your husband appears to be trying to punish you for something by deliberately upsetting you every evening. Unless HE decides to get help and find a healthier way of channeling his anger/frustration, nothing will change, because as it stands, there have been no “consequences” for his actions.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.