Dear Abby: My husband of 30 years had an affair a year and a half ago. We struggled through the aftermath and are trying to restart our relationship. He remained in touch with the other woman until she finally pulled the plug on him, and now he has no interest in talking with me about our relationship or how to improve it.
He is distant and refuses to say, “I love you.” He doesn’t initiate hugs or kisses. He will initiate sex every so often, but I am usually the one who seems to need more contact.
When I question him, he tells me everything is all right and I am making a mountain out of a molehill. We have good times, but I really feel his lack of affection.
I don’t want to leave this man. I love him dearly and have for many years. Should I keep waiting for the renewal or has my membership here lapsed and I’m just kidding myself?
Dear Frozen Out: Because you love him dearly and don’t want to leave him, stay put. However, everything isn’t all right, and you are not making a mountain out of a molehill. Your husband appears to be punishing you for something, and unless you get to the bottom of it, your relationship with him will remain icy cold.
A licensed marriage counselor may be able to help you rebuild your relationship, but it won’t happen unless he is willing to try.
If he isn’t, then you should go without him and let the therapist help you decide if this is the way you want to live the rest of your life.
Dear Abby: I have a small, home-based business making baking extracts that I sell at our local farmers market. Occasionally, a patron will look over my stock and ask me how I make them. I am unsure how to answer the question in a way that won’t have a negative impact on future sales.
Baking extracts are not difficult to make, but the process is time-consuming and the ingredients are expensive. I don’t want to give away the details of my production process, yet I don’t know how to say so without seeming rude.
Perplexed in the East
Dear Perplexed: Smile at the questioner and reply, “That would be giving away trade secrets — but I can share one of them: I make them all with love.”
Dear Abby: If you will print this, it would help pharmacy technicians everywhere.
Drive-thru windows are for convenience, not SPEED. We are not handing out hamburgers. But if you have new insurance, questions for a pharmacist, a large order or anything out of the ordinary, please come into the store. To do otherwise is rude to the people in line behind you who will blame us because they had to wait.
You take a new insurance card to your doctor, and you should do the same at the pharmacy. We’re not psychic and we don’t automatically know your insurance has changed. Entering new data correctly is time-consuming, and you are not the only one who “forgot” — so refrain from directing your impatience at us.
Don’t hang onto a new prescription for weeks and present it to us in a hurry. Bring it to the pharmacy to be placed in your file, then call a day ahead to say you want it filled. Call in advance for maintenance drugs, too. That way, you won’t have to wait for your medication.
Do not panic about holidays, weekends or weather. WE ARE OPEN. We will need the prescription number or name to fill it correctly.
Pay close attention to the number of refills and the expiration dates on each vial. If you are out of refills, obviously we can’t fill it without a new prescription from your doctor.
Abby, we start early, stay late and skip breaks to help the sick. Common sense and accountability are needed. We are here to help patients efficiently and courteously. Please remind your readers that pharmacy employees deserve the same in return.
Stressed Tech in Pennsylvania
Dear Stressed Tech: My hat is off to you and I’m glad to help. Your suggestions are sensible. Customer service is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and working with people who are sick, hungry or stressed can make it even more difficult.
Readers, losing one’s temper and being rude will not improve service, and may impede it. I have found that the process of picking up and dropping off prescriptions goes more smoothly if it’s done at other than peak hours.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.