Dear Abby: I have been single for a couple of years. I have always been levelheaded when it comes to romance, but Iím finding myself unable to control my feelings about the new man Iím seeing.
ďBrentĒ is smart, intelligent, sweet and loving. We have been dating for a little over a week and he has already given me keys to his place. (I have a roommate, or I would have given him my keys, too!)
I love him. He loves me. I am so happy. I feel calm and confident about how weíre progressing. This is a first for me. I know itís unusually fast, but my parents got married six weeks after they met, and theyíre still happy together after 37 years.
Love at first sight is rare, but I think this is it. Your thoughts?
Wowed in North Carolina
Dear Wowed: Iím glad for your parents, but because they married six weeks after they met does not mean you must repeat history. Right now, you and Brent appear to be caught up in a whirl of endorphins and adrenaline.
Because you asked for my thoughts Iíll share them: Slow down until both of you have your feet back on the ground because that is how solid relationships are built. Your folks were an exception to the rule. If you donít believe me, ask them.
Dear Abby: Iím a 62-year-old male. My problem is I have never been married, and when I go on dates, women always want to know why Iím still single.
The reasons are financial and also that Iím allergic to cats. (A lot of women own cats.) I have never made much money, and I live with my mother. I canít afford to move out, and even when I had a place of my own, it didnít make much difference. Iíd like to be married, but this has become a catch-22. No one wants to marry me because I have never been married.
I have looked this issue up online and it is a huge problem; women definitely discriminate against never-married men. Sometimes I wonder if I should lie and say Iím a widower. What can I say to women who interrogate me about this?
for a Mate
Dear Searching: If you lie about the fact that youíre a lifelong bachelor, at some point the truth will come out and your credibility will be shot. Thatís why Iím advising you to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Your marital status is nothing to be ashamed of. Not everyone is meant to be married. You say you are 62 and live with your mother because you canít afford to live on your own.
Has it occurred to you that you might not be able to afford being married?
Also, marriage is a big adjustment for anyone ó male or female. There is no guarantee that a person who has become set in his or her ways can successfully make that transition. This is not to say that you shouldnít have companionship, but you donít need a wife for that.
A good friend ó or several ó could provide it.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.