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Dear Abby: I am sick to death of hearing about people who have too many kids and the hardship it imposes. Common sense for the women is to use birth control, but why don’t men step up to the plate and have a vasectomy? I had one years ago and it has worked well for me.

I never hear it mentioned on talk shows or read it in any advice columns, including yours. Men of America, wake up!

Joseph in Las Vegas

Dear Joseph: I’m sure the word “vasectomy” has been used in previous Dear Abby columns, but I’m glad to remind my male readers. While I have never taken a poll on this subject, I’ll hazard a guess or two about why men are reluctant to have them:

One, they equate it with castration; two, they think at some point they might change their mind or their partner; and three, they’re afraid it will be painful. For any men out there who are worried that some tragedy might wipe out your family and you will have to start over, sperm can be banked for up to 20 years and used should the need arise.

P.S. There are also more options open to women than the pill. These include IUDs and, if they’re sure they want to be finished with childbearing, tubal ligation.

Dear Abby: I raised three kids in a normal household, putting them to bed between two sheets. Now my two younger ones no longer sleep between sheets, but wrapped up in a blanket on a sheetless mattress. One of them has children, and is passing the habit on to them.

I’m wondering where I went wrong. Has anyone else encountered this?

Taken Aback in Missouri

Dear Taken Aback: People have varying sleep “styles.” If, when your children lived with you, you taught them to launder their sheets and make their beds, then you didn’t go wrong. (One can only hope they wash those blankets regularly.)

If possible, invite your grandchildren for sleepovers so they can experience how the “other half” lives. You would be doing them a favor because children can’t learn what a parent hasn’t taught them.

Dear Abby: I am friends with a couple who have been married for three years. I have worked with the wife since before their wedding. The wife is overtly sexual toward me and has cheated on her husband many times during the last year.

I’ll be changing jobs soon and think the husband should know what his wife has been doing. Should I send him an anonymous letter? Tell him in person? Or let him find out for himself in the future?

Troubled Friend in Detroit

Dear Troubled: Because the woman is “overtly” sexual with you, it’s likely the husband already has an inkling. Whether you decide to tell him his wife is cheating with multiple men depends on whether YOU would want to be told. But this I can tell you emphatically: This information should not be conveyed in an unsigned letter from a “friend.”

Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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