Dear Abby: I am a single woman who borrowed $80,000 to send my daughter to college with the understanding that she would take over the payments once she was professionally established. She is now so “into” her new lifestyle that she is refusing to have contact with her “poor” birth mother. She refuses to take responsibility for repaying the loan, which is in my name, and says “tough luck” to my stupidity.
This means I will have to continue working until I drop dead. Abby, I am 60. Is there any help for me?
Poor Birth Mother in Georgia
Dear Poor: Sadly, yes it has. And no, there isn’t help for you. Because the agreement with your daughter was verbal and wasn’t put in writing, you don’t have a legal means to force her to assume the loan payments.
Dear Abby: I have a difficult situation at work. A co-worker lost her driver’s license two years ago, and I provided her transportation. In the beginning it was occasional, but now it’s almost daily. I don’t know how to get out of this situation that’s taking a toll on me and my time.
She has somewhat compensated me for gas, but I have two jobs and family obligations that limit my time off, and I just can’t continue this taxi service. We work side-by-side at my day job. I care about her and our friendship, but can no longer continue allowing her hardship to be my hardship. Abby, please advise how to break the news to her.
Not A Taxi Service
Dear Not: Tell your co-worker just as you have explained to me — that it has become more time-consuming and stressful than you can handle, given your other obligations. Rather than cut her off cold turkey, give her some notice — say a week — to arrange other transportation. Do not apologize or feel guilty about doing so. You’ve been very generous and supportive.
P.S. You didn’t mention why she lost her driving privileges, but if it’s still possible for her to reapply for a driver’s license, you should suggest it.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.