Dear Abby: When my friend became pregnant, her boyfriend didn’t stick around to be in the baby’s life. The three of us had gone to school together, and they started dating years later. When she asked me to be the child’s godmother, I said yes.
The baby is 5 months old now.
While I was out at a bar recently, I ran into the boyfriend. My friend is now mad at me because I said hello to him. She thinks I should have ignored him, given him a dirty look or had words with him in public, but that’s not me.
She’s now saying she never wants to talk to me or see me again.
She told me to have a good life! I know she’s bitter, but I feel that was a little extreme. What should I do?
Dear Confused: Frankly, I think you should take this vindictive individual at her word until she decides it is time to apologize. If you do as I suggest, there will be far less turmoil and drama in your life.
Dear Abby: My girlfriend and I each own our homes and have about the same amount of mortgage to pay. She ends up staying in my home with me most of the time because I live closer to where we both work.
I recently found out that she has been Airbnbing her condo a lot of the weekends when she stays with me. I feel taken advantage of even though it doesn’t really affect me whether her place is empty or she’s getting rent.
What is the etiquette on such an arrangement? Should I be getting a cut?
I feel if I told her I wanted to stay at her place and rent out mine, she would want some of the money.
Dear Weekend Roomies: There is no rule of etiquette governing whether you’re entitled to some of the income she receives from renting out her place while she’s visiting you. Discuss this with your entrepreneurial girlfriend and see how she feels about sharing the wealth.
Her reaction will give insight into her character.
Dear Abby: I work and live in an ethnically and religiously diverse community. There is also a welcoming and open LGBT community here.
While I was having lunch with a new employee, she mentioned that she was married. My first thought was that she was married to a woman, but later it sounded like her spouse was male. I didn’t want to be rude so I kept my mouth shut.
Is it ever OK to ask the gender of someone’s spouse?
Polite But Confused in Oregon
Dear Polite: I don’t think so. It would be more tactful to ask the person her spouse’s name.
However, if the name is gender-neutral, then you should wait till you know the woman better for the answer. Time will tell, even if your co-worker doesn’t.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.