Dear Abby: Forty-five years ago I had a mistress. My wife knew about her. Both of our spouses have now passed. I have found her address on the internet, and I’m debating if I should contact her. What do you think?
Unsure in Iowa
Dear Unsure: Because you are both now unencumbered, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t. Clearly, you have things in common and a lot of shared history.
Dear Abby: We are well into school’s summer vacation, filled with days by the pool, trips to the zoo, and plenty of time for kids to goof off around the house. This extended leisure time for the kiddos may be a good time to remind parents to be thoughtful about what they post on social media.
Some basics: When your child accidentally dumps all the sunscreen from your beach bag onto the car floor, you do not have to post a picture of a regretful, crying toddler to prove that “he really did it this time!” When your child falls off her bike and gets a great big scrape on her forearm, you do not have to post a picture of the scrape for the world to see. When your child is running through the backyard sprinkler without clothes on, you do not have to post a picture to let us know.
Abby, please encourage your readers to have a memorable, safe and exciting summer — but to keep those photos to themselves.
Common Sense, Please
Dear C.S.P.: You obviously don’t want the children put at risk or shamed. Some people feel a compulsion to record everything a kid does for the world to see because their child is so special and unique. Unfortunately, we seem to have reached a point in our culture that nothing is private anymore. I’ll print your suggestion to parents, but while I applaud your wanting to protect their children, it’s their job. If the photos bother you, ignore them and keep scrolling.
Dear Abby: We are a family of six children. Our elderly mother lives with each of us three to 10 months at a time. Out of the six of us, only one is a homemaker who has the room and ideal setting for her to live comfortably. However, she refuses to have Mom permanently.
The rest of us have jobs that don’t allow us to be with her during the day. Yet we all agreed that putting Mom in a nursing home would be out of the question.
If I didn’t have to work, I’d take care of her permanently myself. I admit that she can be difficult to live with. She can cut you down, insist you do all kinds of errands and is suspicious about someone taking her money. I don’t know what to do.
One Of Six in Ohio
Dear One Of Six: Has your mother always been this way? If so, then perhaps it’s time for another family meeting. To expect one sister to shoulder the entire burden of taking in a demanding, suspicious parent is unfair to her.
If there have been changes in your mother’s personality, consider having her be neurologically evaluated to see if there is something wrong with her. A geriatric psychiatrist could give you some helpful input regardless of whether she’s ill — and help you all decide upon a workable, permanent living situation for her.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.