Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for 17 years. For the first 16 years, my wife would make me lattes without being asked. Last year, she announced she would no longer make any more lattes for me. When I asked her if she expected me to go the rest of my life without one, she said yes!
Do you think it would be OK if I found another female to make lattes for me? Wouldn’t that woman be doing my wife a favor?
Hint: I am not really talking about lattes.
No More Lattes in Kokomo
Dear No More Lattes: Before outsourcing your latte business, it is important that you find out from your wife why her attitude has changed so drastically. Has she lost interest in that kind of beverage preparation? Has making lattes become painful for her? Could there be other issues in your relationship that have made her less interested in giving you your favorite treat?
If the answer to these questions is yes, perhaps she should discuss them with her doctor — or the two of you talk about them with a licensed marriage counselor.
Hint: I’m really not advising you about lattes, either.
Dear Abby: After 33 years of what I thought was a near-perfect marriage, my husband walked out and filed for divorce. That was 12 years ago. Since then, I’ve done my best to move on and find my “next chapter.”
I’m now in the process of downsizing to move into a smaller house. While going through my filing cabinet, I ran across some very sweet and touching love letters my ex had written to me — some of them just a few weeks before he left me. I am having a hard time deciding whether to throw them away or keep them.
I know there’s no perfect answer, but any advice you could offer to help me make that decision would be appreciated. It’s a sensitive topic for me.
Love Letters in Texas
Dear L.L.: I’ll bet it is. How does reading those touching love letters make you feel? Be honest. If they bring back warm memories, hang onto them. However, if they have the opposite effect, do yourself a favor, dispose of them and continue looking forward into your next chapter.
Dear Abby: I live in a mobile park, and in the park is a group that collects money and runs fundraisers to help the low-income people who live here. They deliver one bag of food to about 10 families once a month.
This group does not disclose how much money was collected — ever — and are very secretive about how much they have in their fund. Some of us who live here have raised the question as to how much money they are holding, but they refuse to give us any information. They say they are not a nonprofit, so they don’t have to report to the IRS. Is there anything we can do to make them tell us how much is in there?
Dear Money Matters: There absolutely is. Poll how many of your neighbors feel the way you do, and then, as a group, stop contributing money. If enough residents do that, the money will dry up and the fund will close. Because only 10 families need this kind of help, you and your neighbors should consider selecting families to help and do it directly.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.