Dear Abby: I’m 14, starting my freshman year in high school and, of course, will be joining lots of clubs to prepare for college.
My best friend is gay, and when I asked her if she wanted to join any clubs together, she suggested the Gay-Straight Alliance club. As a saved Christian, I am unsure how to answer.
I believe Christians should treat homosexuals with kindness and respect. I believe also in same-sex marriage because of the legal protection it gives a couple. I respect my friend’s decision, and I’m happy she’s happy with her life. My family doesn’t know how to respond either, though they have similar beliefs.
I am afraid if my church found out, they would dislike me for joining, as well as question where I really stand as a Christian. I feel conflicted about how to address both sides of my beliefs. Help?
Caught In The
Middle in Kentucky
Dear Caught: I, too, believe that Christians (and people of all faiths) should treat each other with kindness and respect, regardless of their sexual orientation. But somewhere you got the impression that sexual orientation is a choice. It isn’t. Your friend’s orientation was determined before she was born, just as yours was.
Wanting to support your friend by joining a Gay-Straight Alliance is a commendable thing to do, and it follows the Golden Rule. I can’t see how a church that preaches love would object to that.
Dear Abby: I have a wonderful husband I love deeply and can’t imagine my life without. We have a beautiful marriage. We never fight or really even argue. We’ve been together for 11 years and only during the last couple of years has he started doing something that troubles me. In the afternoon or evening, if I need to go to the store — or anywhere for that matter — he gets upset and gives me the silent treatment and doesn’t want me to go.
I trust him and let him do whatever he wants. I have never given him a reason to not trust me, so why does it make him so angry if I need to run to the store? I feel I deserve the same respect and trust that I show him. How do I make him see how much it hurts me for him to act like this?
in The South
Dear Feeling Mistrusted: What you are describing is a red flag that if ignored could ruin your marriage. Your husband’s insecurity and need to control you may stem from the fact that he has been hiding something from you. Tell him that you love him, but for the sake of your marriage, the two of you should go to couples counseling.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.