Review: ‘7 Minutes’ — if only it was that short
“7 Minutes” is your basic bungled robbery movie.
Basic is the key word there. Writer-director Jay Martin tries throwing some Tarantino touches onto the screen — when a character is introduced, his name is splashed across the screen in big block letters as if something interesting is going to happen — but sudden flourishes can’t hide the mundane nature of his story.
That story centers on Sam (Luke Mitchell), a former high school quarterback fallen on hard times three years after graduating. His ex-cheerleader girlfriend, Kate (Leven Rambin), is pregnant, he’s been laid off, and now he’s dealing drugs for his older brother, Mike (Jason Ritter).
Accompanying Sam on his drug runs is his lifelong friend, Owen (Zane Holtz), who’s just gotten out of prison. Owen, Sam and Mike go to the big city and score a hefty amount of product, which puts them $60,000 in debt, and then paranoid Owen flushes all they’ve just bought when he spies some cops.
So our young anti-heroes have 48 hours to come up with the money. In a only-in-the-movies burst of coincidence, Mike conveniently remembers that his uncle has $500,000 stashed in a safe. Sure, whose uncle doesn’t?
So the three buy cheap Halloween masks and charge into the uncle’s business office, guns drawn. Average police response time — how on earth would they know this? — is supposed to be eight minutes, so they figure they have seven to get in and out. What could go wrong?
Plenty, obviously, and it does. Martin starts the movie off with the robbery and then flashes back to all the complications — a kidnapping, a lovesick cop, a vicious thug named Tuckey (Kevin Gage) — that will pop up in those seven minutes.
Which isn’t a bad technique, but it’s pretty hard to get worked up about three thieves this dumb and this bland. They should have just asked the uncle for a loan and saved anyone from watching this movie.
Running time: 92 minutes