Hayden Christensen stars in this clunker about a father-son bonding experience that goes horribly awry

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“First Kill” is dead on arrival.

This lame thriller never gets off the ground and puts its characters in a series of ridiculous, impossible-to-believe scenarios. You never buy a minute of it, and the characters all shrug their way through it with equal indifference.

Hayden Christensen (remember him?) plays Will, a Wall Street broker who says things like “I’m already down $8 million on oil today!” into his phone, which probably wouldn’t even make the board in a “Things Wall Street Brokers Say” category on “Family Feud.”

His son, Danny (Ty Shelton), gets bullied at school, so Will decides he needs to toughen him up by taking him to the woods to hunt a deer. Danny is hesitant, but Will is adamant, and soon they’re off to hunt Bambi.

In the woods they oversee a confrontation between two associates that ends with one gunning down the other. Will and his son try to stay silent, but the suspect starts shooting in their direction, and Will answers by putting a bullet through the shooter’s chest. Whoops, turns out he’s a cop.

Will has plenty to answer for, but “First Kill” doesn’t bother exploring the moral or even legal consequences of his actions. Instead it veers into an improbable kidnapping and a bullheaded dad revenge plot, while the child endangerment scenarios pile up in double figures.

Bruce Willis shows up as a small town sheriff, practically sleepwalking through his scenes. At least he got paid. He knows “First Kill” is a clunker; its first and only casualty is the audience’s common sense.

agraham@detroitnews.com

(313) 222-2284

@grahamorama

‘First Kill’

GRADE: D

Rated R for violence and language

Running time: 97 minutes

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