Hapless horror thriller goes nowhere slowly

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A flat horror thriller that takes way too long to get to its (severely lacking) horror or thrills, "The 6th Friend" is dead on arrival. 

A group of friends gets together at a cabin in the woods (of course!) five years after a traumatic event ripped them apart. We see glimpses of that incident throughout, but here's what we know for sure: the gals were celebrating their college graduation when a drug dealer arrived, took advantage of one of the guests, and wound up murdered. 

Most affected by the incident is Joey (Jamie Bernadette, who also wrote and produced the film), who has shut herself off from the group in the intervening years. She's coaxed to the cabin by her friend, Melissa (Chantelle Albers), while the others (including Dominique Swain's Heather) are awaiting her arrival. 

And then ... well, not a whole lot happens. With barely enough meat for a short film, "The 6th Friend" is laboriously stretched to feature length and filled with banal scenes of the women discussing their various traumas, the pros and cons of using the "B" word and reacting to visions of a masked psycho within and outside the house.

Eventually, bodies start piling up, because it's a horror film and they have to. A meta, post-modern spin on the killer's reveal (and its aftermath) attempts to indict the audience for its complacency in our reality TV and celeb-obsessed times, but it's toothless (and "Scream" got there first, 23 years ago).

Pacing aside, there isn't a whole lot of horror in "The 6th Friend." With a friend like this, who needs friends?

agraham@detroitnews.com

@grahamorama

'The 6th Friend'

GRADE: D

Not rated: Violence, language, a scene of rape

Running time: 84 minutes

 

   

 

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