Creating a new home after a breakup

Not much can be as devastating as the loss of a relationship, but when you're going through the throes of a divorce or breakup, having to decide on what to keep and what to pitch can open up old wounds. Creating a house that helps you embrace your new life can help move you on from the relationship and start looking forward again.

Bedroom

For most couples, the room that symbolizes the relationship most is the bedroom. Whether you're staying in the residence you shared or not, it's a wise idea to get a new bedroom set. Even feng shui experts recommend replacing a mattress and box spring with new bedding that wasn't used by the couple. It stands to reason, too, that new bedding is a smart move for starting over. A bed represents the shared relationship, so if your former partner wants the bed, let him or her have it.

Visual transformation

If you've moved out, this is your chance to create a new home with the type and style of furnishings you enjoy most. This is especially true if your ex dominated the decor in your home. Take the time to find a new style that appeals to you and that helps represent a new chapter in your life. If you've stayed in your formerly shared space, this is a good time to take out the paint cans. Changing up the color is one of the quickest and easiest ways of remaking your space so that it feels and looks fresh and new to you.

Artwork is another way to create a new look. Start by taking down pictures of the two of you and either throw these away or put them in storage. Look for artwork and accessories that represent places you'd like to visit or interests you have, such as gardening or sports. Make it a point to represent your new life as much as possible with images of golf courses, if that's what you enjoy most, or beaches if island travel is what excites you. This is the time to reassert your interest and ideas again.

Details, details

It's easy to see the usefulness of an object and hang on to it, but this is the time to let things go that you really don't love. If the can opener never worked well, every time you use it, you'll think of the relationship that also didn't work. Think about keeping and using only those things that you love and enjoy most despite their utility. And don't forget about lighting. It's easy to succumb to melancholy after a breakup, so be sure to keep rooms well lit. Cleaning out closets and removing any objects that were shared that you will no longer need or want is another good way to help you move on with a clean slate in your life. Do this sooner rather than later so you really can move on.