Dear Abby: I would like to weigh in on your response to “Day Care Drama in Indiana,” whose neighbor screams at the children in her day care. I worked for 25 years investigating serious complaints, many involving verbal abuse, against day care providers for my state’s licensing agency. It is critical for this reader to contact Indiana’s licensing agency and make a complaint.

Verbal abuse is extremely damaging to young children, and parents are often reluctant to believe their provider would subject their children to such cruelty. Also, if your reader is hearing screaming, there could easily be hitting taking place, as well.

If your reader were to approach the children’s parents individually as you advised, they would likely discount him/her as a “cranky neighbor.”

However, if the licensing investigator were to pay a visit and interview the older past and present children, as we do in our state, the provider would be cited — or closed down — and the findings could be presented to the parents by an objective party.

Retired but Concerned

Dear Retired But Concerned: Thank you for correcting me. Many readers agreed that this situation should be reported immediately to the agency that monitors day care centers. To remain silent and allow the abuse to continue would also be child abuse.

Many also suggested contacting Child Protective Services and afterward following up to make sure this issue has been investigated. If not, the local police should then be notified.

Dear Abby: I have a wonderful daughter who is a perfect mother and wife. The problem is, she’s in her 40s and dresses really inappropriately, sometimes wearing skirts and shorts so short they barely cover her bottom. She’s also very voluptuous and always shows cleavage. When she goes out for the evening, she shows practically everything.

She takes lots of photographs with her family, and in all of them she’s so exposed that sometimes when she gives me prints, I have to add magic marker so she looks more modest. She is a sweet person who is loved by everyone, so I don’t know how to handle this.

Please help me.

Covered Up in Oakland, Calif.

Dear Covered Up: You say your daughter is a perfect mother and wife in her 40s. She may display her assets because it has been a winning combination for her so far or because her husband likes it.

The time is long past when you should tell her what or what not to wear, even if you are well-meaning. The best advice I can offer is to continue wielding your magic marker and pray for colder weather.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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