Dear Abby: I am 23 years old, working full-time as a teacher and I’m about to move out of my parents’ house. I have decided to have breast augmentation surgery, and I know the best time to do it would be this summer, so I’ll have time to recover before school starts.

The problem is my parents are adamantly against my having this surgery. I’ve heard it all: “I wish you loved your body the way it is.” “That’s so superficial,” and “You’ll regret it!”

I would wait until I move out, but my new place (which is being built) won’t be finished until the end of the school year. I have postponed this surgery for several years, and now I have the money and I’m ready. How can I please my parents and also please myself?

Tired Of Waiting

Dear Tired Of Waiting: Have another talk with your folks and explain that while they may wish you loved your body the way it is, you don’t. Tell them that you don’t feel wanting the surgery is superficial and that you feel it will give you confidence about your appearance that you don’t have now.

The decision about whether to have plastic surgery is a personal one. No one should make it “for” you; the choice should be yours and yours alone. If you decide later that you regret it, you can have the implants removed. Some women have done that — but most women don’t.

Dear Abby: I am planning a wedding this summer. My fiance and I are paying for it ourselves, so we are trying to keep it within a budget.

My problem is, when I have shared the news of our engagement, some people have told me, “I can’t wait to get my invitation.” We have already made up our guest list and they aren’t on it, so how can I tactfully reply without offending?

Struggling To

Be Polite in


Dear Struggling: When someone who is not on your guest list says he or she can’t wait to get an invitation, explain that due to budget constraints, your wedding will be small — pretty much immediate family only. No one can argue with that.

Dear Abby: My husband helps with the kids and with the housework. But he never remembers holidays and special occasions. I have talked to him about how hurtful this is, but it never helps. My friends say, “How can you complain? He helps you do housework!” What do you think?

Wife Of An

Imperfect Husband

Dear Wife: If the problem is that your husband doesn’t know what to buy for you, offer some suggestions. If he simply can’t remember the date — and some spouses don’t — start “reminding” him a week in advance. If he still doesn’t “pop,” then appreciate the fact that you have a husband who tries every day to show you he loves you by making your life easier. Many women are not so lucky.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Read or Share this story: