Abby: Wife learns man sought more than exercise at gym

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: I have been with my husband for 10 years. We were married six months ago. Before the wedding, we had some breakups. During one of them, he dated another woman briefly. The encounter led to her becoming pregnant, and she gave birth to a boy who is now a year old. I learned about her and her pregnancy five months before our wedding, but we have been able to work through it with intense counseling.

Last week, I got a Facebook message from a woman who advised me that my husband had approached her at the gym and said he was single, so they went on a date. After our wedding he stopped seeing her, but continued contacting her. She became suspicious and found pictures of me and my husband on Facebook. When she told him she knew he was married, he stopped calling and texting. She said she knew him for only a week and didn’t have sex with him.

When I confronted him, he said he had made a “mistake.” He apologized and said it wouldn’t happen again. He said he no longer sees her, but how can I ever trust him again? Please tell me what to do.

The New Mrs. in Kansas

Dear New Mrs.: After what happened, I don’t blame you for distrusting your husband. He had every intention of starting a sex relationship with the woman at the gym, and would have if she hadn’t researched him.

The man you married appears to have a serious character defect. It’s up to you to decide if you are willing to tolerate another “lapse,” should it occur. Some women are willing to stay married to a womanizer, but others don’t want to put up with the pain. I can’t decide that for you, but some sessions with a psychologist may help you make a well-thought-out decision.

Dear Abby: I spent the afternoon with a friend who was in town for her husband’s business conference. Her 20-year-old son called her because he had broken the screen on his cellphone.

Over the next two hours as we visited, she took phone calls from him, researched places to get his phone fixed, then proceeded to fill out insurance forms on her phone for the repair while I sat there. I finally stood up and said I was leaving because she seemed to be “busy.” She immediately became offended and rudely said, “Well! Sorry I p-d you off!”

Abby, it was a broken cellphone, not a broken arm. Am I wrong for feeling the way I do? We have been friends for more than 30 years.

Insulted in Reno

Dear Insulted: You’re not wrong. Your friend must have thought her son’s predicament was an emergency, which is why she felt compelled to deal with it immediately.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.