Abby: Teen would like to stiff-arm mom’s ‘affectionate’ friend
Dear Abby: I’m 16, and at church every Sunday, a lady who is one of my mom’s friends always makes a point of coming up to me to talk. She says things about me growing up to be a man, and asks me if I’m dating. She always gives me an extended hug. It’s really uncomfortable for me, and embarrassing.
I tried to talk to my mom about it, but she just said her friend is very affectionate. To me, the way she does it is creepy and scary. I don’t want to be unfriendly to anybody, but this is different. Any suggestions?
Enough Already, in
Dear Enough: Yes. Listen to your gut. Tell your mother her friend is coming across as creepy and scary. Because her behavior makes you uncomfortable, avoid physical contact with her by stepping back when she tries to hug you. And if she brings up the subject of whether you’re dating, change the subject (“Lovely sermon, wasn’t it, Mrs. Robinson?”). Then walk away.
Dear Abby: I’ve been living with my boyfriend for several years, and he has this habit of not locking the front door. Is this a guy thing? I have told him repeatedly that I don’t feel safe when he does this, yet every other morning I wake up and the front door is not locked!
I feel like a broken record. His response is: “I’m here. Nothing is going to happen.” He also doesn’t lock the balcony door. Even though we are on the second floor, I still hate coming home to doors in the apartment that are unlocked. It makes me feel vulnerable.
Am I overreacting? How can I talk to him about it without sounding like a nag?
Amber in Texas
Dear Amber: You aren’t overreacting. Your boyfriend appears to be under the delusion that he is a superhero. Too often we see reports in the news about yet another tragedy, after which a neighbor appears on camera saying, “I don’t understand it. Things like this don’t happen in our neighborhood.”
Because you haven’t been able to convince him to change his ways, the solution to your problem is to take the initiative and lock the doors yourself.
Dear Abby: My wife and I had dinner with some other couples at an elegant restaurant. After the meals were brought to the table, someone said, “We need to pray.” In this quiet, candlelit setting, a “Bless us, oh Lord ...” was spoken aloud by most of the people in our party, causing heads to turn at a number of nearby tables. I was embarrassed.
Is there a rule of etiquette about praying in a restaurant?
Silently Praying For Advice
Dear Silently Praying: Yes, there is. In restaurants, praying should be done quietly and inconspicuously to avoid distracting other diners.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.