Abby: Moving to desert makes woman thirst for ex-life

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: Last year my boyfriend and I moved across the country to Arizona so he could be closer to his friends and family. My entire family lives on the East Coast. Recently, it seems like our plan to marry and start a family keeps getting pushed further and further away. I’m 35; he’s 47. Neither of us has been married or has kids.

I’m beginning to regret having uprooted my life for someone who is changing the timing of what I thought we both wanted. How long should I wait before cutting my losses and moving closer to those I care for?

Alone In The Desert

Dear Alone: If you haven’t already, it’s time to have a talk with your boyfriend about what your expectations were when you made the move to Arizona. If you want to have kids, you’ll be getting a late start as it is.

Ask him why he wants to postpone your wedding plans beyond what you had agreed upon. He may have cold feet, his friends or relatives may have said they don’t care for you — anything is possible. But you deserve straight answers, and if they aren’t satisfactory, I see no reason to devote more time to a relationship that isn’t working out.

Dear Abby: Seven years ago, my sister’s 19-year-old son was killed in a car accident. After the wake, she gave me a heart necklace with some of his ashes. We no longer speak and haven’t for four years.

Well, did I get a shock today. I got an email from her asking for it back! She even had my stepmom repeat the message to me. I don’t believe she has the right to ask for the necklace. Does she?

Blue in Tennessee

Dear Blue: Because you are no longer speaking, I can understand why your sister might want her son’s ashes back. Be a lady; return the necklace to her via registered mail or have your stepmother give it to her. It’s regrettable that your relationship with your sister has sunk to this level. Because this was no ordinary gift, understand that if you refuse to return it, your relationship with your sister will be permanently fractured.

Dear Abby: Recently, 12 of us women from a retirement home in Dayton were having lunch at a local steakhouse. As we were digging in our purses for money and coupons, our server informed us that we did not owe anything for our bills! He said a gentleman who had been seated nearby had taken care of what we owed. It seems the day we were there was his late mother’s birthday.

There are some very good people in this world. We want him to know how very much we appreciated his kind gesture, and we have pledged to “pay it forward” whenever we can.

Blessed in Ohio

Dear Blessed: I don’t know who originated this saying, but your letter certainly proves the truth of it: A good deed is like a pebble thrown into a pond; its ripples continue ever outward. Thank you for an upper of a letter.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.