Abby: Fiance’s marine service makes waves on homefront

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: My fiance is in the Marine Reserves. He has been in for five years, and his contract is due to end next year. After that, he will either resign or re-enlist.

He’s obsessed with the idea of serving his country and deploying. He says he won’t feel like he did his job if he doesn’t deploy. While I respect that, for him to deploy, he must re-enlist, and his new contract will be for another six years. He could be sent overseas many times in six years.

I can’t imagine life without him. Every time I even watch a war movie, I cry. I know it sounds selfish, because he is very brave, but how can I talk him into not re-enlisting or at least communicate that I don’t want him to do this again?

Wants Him Stateside

Dear Wants: I’m surprised you haven’t told your fiance your feelings on this already, because you should have. While I wouldn’t ask him to choose between you and his military service, I think you have some thinking to do about your own future. Being a military spouse requires a special kind of strong, independent and dedicated person — as you have already experienced. While you may love him, if this isn’t a lifestyle to which you can adapt, then he may not be the husband for you.

Dear Abby: I just got asked to my first high school dance by “Josh,” a boy I really like. I don’t know what to do, what to wear or what to say. I don’t even know how to dance, and I don’t want to mess this up.

Josh is popular and has done this before, but I haven’t. He’s my best friend, and I’m scared of losing him because I’m not good enough. Should I go, or call it off and just stay home? Maybe I’m just not meant for this dating stuff. What should I do?

Inexperienced in Nevada

Dear Inexperienced: If you weren’t “good enough,” Josh wouldn’t have invited you to the dance. Because you haven’t danced before, ask him to give you some pointers before the big night. If you do, I’m sure he’ll be glad to help.

As to what to wear, if any of your girlfriends have attended the dances, ask them for suggestions. However, if none of them have been to a school dance either, ask any female relative of the same age — or ask Josh.

Dear Abby: The mother of a friend recently passed away. I wanted to send a nice plant to the funeral home and was shocked at how much it cost to have it delivered. Is it a “no-no” to buy a beautiful plant and deliver it yourself?


Dear Budget-Minded: If it’s a “no-no,” I never heard about it. If having the plant delivered would stretch your budget, by all means take it over before the viewing. It’s the thought that counts, and your wish to commemorate the death of your friend’s mother is thoughtful and beautiful.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.