Dear Abby: Inevitable illness overshadows man’s personal relationships
Dear Abby: I have just separated from my wife. I don’t plan on dating anytime soon, but I will eventually.
I have a disease that caused my immune system to destroy my liver cells. There is no way to predict whether my liver will fail in five days or five years. Would it be wrong to date knowing I have this disease? There is no cure, just a liver transplant if my liver fails completely.
Also, if it’s OK to date, when should I tell someone about my illness? I have no friends because at some point they will see me jaundiced and sick, and I would have to burden them with my health issues or lie.
Newly Separated in Montana
Dear Newly Separated: You are allowing your illness to rule your life, and that’s not a prescription that’s healthy for anyone. Many people suffer from health problems, but they don’t cut themselves off from relationships as you have.
Yes, you can date. If it looks like there could be a future, you should bring up your health then. Meanwhile, make every effort to enjoy the time you have.
Dear Abby: My mother says I have a problem. I have prominent nipples that show through shirts. I wear a padded bra, but it doesn’t help. I don’t want to wear a heavier padded bra because I am big-busted already.
Honestly, the situation doesn’t bother me. It’s part of being me and no different than having a unibrow or ears that stick out. It’s not sexual. Should I worry about what others think?
My Eyes Are Up Here!
Dear Up Here: No. Anyone’s nipples can become rigid if there’s a change in the temperature. It doesn’t necessarily signal arousal. If you are comfortable, then keep dressing the way you do. This appears to be your mother’s problem. Do not let her anxiety rub off on you.
Dear Abby: My husband and I filed for divorce. Although I moved out, we agreed to keep prior engagements. One of them is a trip to Europe to visit family and friends. As we talked about it, my understanding was it meant sitting next to each other in the car and on the plane. Now he is making the hotel arrangements and has asked me if he should book a room with two beds or two separate rooms. How should I answer?
The Ex-Mrs. in Michigan
Dear Ex-Mrs.: Be honest. If the idea of sharing a room with your almost-ex-husband makes you uncomfortable, tell him you would prefer separate rooms.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.