Abby: Newlyweds who took things slow love life together

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips
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Dear Abby: I am a 34-year-old male who reads your column regularly. I usually see people asking for advice about their concerns, so I figured I would send you something different.

My wife and I have been married three months now, after living together for a year. Prior to that, we dated exclusively for three years. Abby, she’s my world. We took it slow, had fun and discovered each other and ourselves. We discussed our todays and tomorrows, our hopes and dreams, our fears and misgivings, and put together a solid foundation on which to build our future. We live in the present, look forward to tomorrow and consider yesterday a gift with fond memories and lots of laughter.

We have earned each other. We have worked hard for each other. Yes, we have had our share of trying times and difficult days, but we took our time and worked out our issues as a team and as equals — with respect, courtesy and love. We didn’t rush anything, and still don’t to this day. We are totally loving being together!

Louisville Lover

Dear Lover: I wish you and your wife many, many more happy years together. Thank you for an upper of a letter.

Dear Abby: I belong to a gym that is wonderful. It has great facilities and extensive services included in the fee that encourage lots of family activities. Among the facilities are family changing rooms, which are rarely used. Because of this, I am reduced to a Monday-to-Friday schedule because, on weekends, many fathers bring their little girls into the male changing room (infants to 4 years of age). Today I gave it a shot and went to the gym only to encounter a dad and daughter in the male changing room, buck naked. Is this the new normal, Abby?

Not A Dad in Baltimore

Dear Not A Dad: Whether it’s the new normal is beside the point. If you prefer not to encounter a child of the opposite sex in the men’s changing room, you should discuss this with the manager of the gym or change at home.

Dear Abby: As an older male retiree, I encounter people at social gatherings who tilt their heads back, narrow their eyes and ask, “Exactly what was it that you did at XYZ Corporation?” When they find out I was what they consider to be “just a paper-pusher,” they abruptly turn their backs and walk away. Can you suggest an appropriate response to this form of snobbery?

Paper-Pusher in Arizona

Dear Paper-pusher: When someone asks that question, you might smile and respond, “You know, I’m having such a great time in retirement, I can’t really recall what I did there!” Or, if you’re feeling mischievous, you could call out after the person, “Just kidding! I was the CEO.” And if the person turns to come back, turn YOUR back and walk away because, if your perception is correct, you have been conversing with someone who has terrible manners and no class.

Dear Abby: I’m 23 and live with my parents — a situation I am working to change, to be sure. When I come home from work, I occasionally like to have a glass of wine or a beer. Obviously, because I’m an adult, this should not be a problem, but every time I touch alcohol my mom freaks out.

There is a history of alcoholism in my family, so I somewhat understand where she’s coming from. But I feel she needs to realize that I can have a glass or two of wine and it doesn’t mean I’m getting drunk or an alcoholic. I am my own person, in control of my body, and I know my limits.

My family’s view of alcohol seems to have been skewed because of our history. Abby, one glass of wine a night does not an alcoholic make, right?

Unwinding in New England

Dear Unwinding: Ordinarily, I would say no. But a tendency toward addiction can run in families, and for someone with a predisposition to alcoholism, a glass (or two) of wine every night could escalate and lead to problems.

Because you live in your mother’s house, try to be more sensitive to her feelings and respect them. She has experienced firsthand what it’s like to live with someone who has an alcohol problem, and it isn’t pretty. That’s why she is so sensitive about it.

Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069

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