Abby: Marriage gets rough when old hurt resurfaces
Dear Abby: I have been with my husband for 28 years. During our first year of marriage, I caught him making out with an old classmate of mine. He assured me that it was only that and nothing else, so I decided to work through it.
We have five beautiful children now, and I’m not sure why I brought up that episode, but when I did I came to find out that he did, in fact, have sex with her. He swears it was that one and only time.
I can’t find it in my heart to believe him after he held on to this lie for all these years. I would have never given him a second chance had I known back then. I would have moved on with my life.
We still have two little ones to raise, but I feel as torn and heartbroken as if it happened yesterday.
He’s a great father to our children and has been a wonderful husband, but is that enough anymore?
Dear Salted Heart: Your husband most likely realized that if he told you the truth about his fling when it happened, the marriage would be over, which is why he lied. You have had 28 happy years of marriage to someone you say is a great father and wonderful husband. I can understand why you are upset, but think rationally.
If marriage counseling would make you feel better, please go for it and forgive him. To throw away everything you and your husband have invested in this marriage over something that happened almost three decades ago would be foolish, and you will regret it.
Dear Abby: I had a color and haircut and gave the stylist a generous tip. When I got home I noticed that one side was uneven, so I called the owner of the shop, who told me to return the next day and they would fix the problem. No charge.
I returned, and another stylist corrected the problem. I asked again about the charge and the owner repeated, “No charge.” I didn’t tip the second person as I had tipped the first one after paying for the color/cut.
As I was leaving the salon, I overheard another salon worker ask the employee who had fixed my hair, “Did she not give you a tip?”
Given the original expense, I didn’t feel another tip was warranted. Did I do the right thing?
No Tip in Pennsylvania
Dear No Tip: You should have given the second stylist a tip. The salon owner told you the SERVICE was free, but the second stylist should not have been punished for the sloppy work of the first one.
Dear Abby: My brother is getting married the same day and time that my wife graduates from college. The wedding date has been set for a year and a half.
My wife found out a few months ago that there would be a conflict. I’m expected to be at my brother’s wedding to escort my mom down the aisle. Which do I attend?
Can’t Be In Two Places
Dear Can’t Be: With apologies to your wife, you should honor the commitment you made first.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.