Abby: Pair caught in middle of impending family affair
Dear Abby: My fiance, “Rick,” and I have been together for years and recently got engaged. We are over the moon about it, and genuinely in love. However, this exciting time in our lives has been met with some difficulties.
We recently learned Rick’s mother has been having an affair, which makes for a very uncomfortable situation. My future mother-in-law doesn’t know we know. Rick’s father came to us for help because he suspects that she is cheating.
She engages with this man publicly by texting, calling, etc. when we spend time with her, so I avoid her because I don’t want any part of it. It’s hard to ignore because we live with Rick’s family.
He believes we should say nothing.
I spoke to our priest about it because I am so deeply disturbed by her behavior and was told to “pray for them.” I’m worried this will be a negative influence on my fiance and me, and that by remaining quiet we have become part of her lie.
What should I do?
Clean Conscience in The East
Dear Clean Conscience: Listen to the advice you received from your priest. Pray for your almost in-laws, but do not involve yourself in their marital problems. If Rick’s father approaches you again for help, tell him that he needs to discuss his suspicions with his wife because that’s the only way his problems will be resolved.
Dear Abby: I’m in love with two men. My husband, “Victor,” and I have been together for nine years and married last year. “Wade,” the other man in my life, was my boss, and we’ve been seeing each other for two years.
They are polar opposites and make me happy in different ways. I was engaged and planning my wedding when Wade and I started our relationship. I chose to marry Victor for emotional stability and because we had built a life together. I can’t imagine a life without him.
At the same time, I can’t imagine not being with Wade.
If I stop seeing Wade, I know I won’t be happy and he’ll always be on my mind. I will always wonder about what could have been. If I divorce my husband, I’ll break his heart, and it won’t be easy.
Last week Wade demanded I decide between him and my husband. He wants an exclusive relationship with me. I’m in a panic because I can’t decide, but I know I’ll lose Wade if I don’t do it soon. I need advice because I don’t want to end up unhappy.
Stuck At A Crossroads
Dear Stuck: You chose to marry Victor because you wanted emotional stability, and you had built a life together.
Obviously, that isn’t enough for you, or you wouldn’t be cheating with Wade.
If what you really want is a marriage filled with passion, tumult and the possibility of infidelity, by all means choose your former boss.
That way, you won’t be bored, and Victor will then be free to find a loving, faithful wife who appreciates what he has to offer.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.