Abby: Girls’ friendship alters as toddlers become teens
Dear Abby: I have known “Kathy” for 13 years. Her parents moved on our street when we were both 2. I don’t remember much when we were younger, but everyone says we had good times.
We’re now 15 and in our first year of high school, but Kathy has changed. She started going to the same school I did in eighth grade after having some problems with bullying. The new school didn’t help much. She started hanging out with people who weren’t good influences, and her attitude started changing.
Then we started high school, and now she acts like she’s above me. I’m a polite, quiet and religious person. Kathy swears a lot and doesn’t treat me like a friend anymore. Our families are close, and I feel stuck. If things were different, I’d never end up being friends with her. What should I do?
Some Good Times
Dear Some Good Times: Tell your parents how you feel about Kathy and why. Friendships don’t always last forever. As time goes by, sometimes people grow apart. If Kathy is unkind to you, you shouldn’t be forced to be around her. Because your parents and hers are close, they can socialize as adults, with no offspring involved.
Dear Abby: My husband lacks sympathy. When people die, he has the attitude of, “Oh well, people die.” I thought he would change once someone close to him died, but his father died a few months ago, and although he shed some tears, he refused to eulogize him at the funeral and is back to his old attitude. His mother is the same way.
Recently, my grown son phoned me in the middle of the night to let me know that his best friend’s dad had died. He was very upset and needed to talk. My husband was annoyed that he woke us about someone we didn’t even know, and went on to say how ridiculous it was that my son was so upset. I told him that, as a mom, I will talk my son through any problem, whether he agrees with it or not. He just grumbled and went back to sleep.
This is still bothering me. I wonder how my husband will act toward my children if I die first. I worry that he will say “suck it up and stop crying” when they need him the most. I don’t think this is worth ending a 30-year marriage over, but it makes me angry that he is so unsympathetic. Any ideas on how I should handle this?
Full Of Feeling in Arizona
Dear Full: Yes. Outlive him.
Dear Abby: I have been a longtime reader and recently I have been reading the archives and find it funny that most requests for advice are relevant even in this day and age. My question is, now that we have caller ID and cellphones, do you still say “hello’’ when you answer a call? The greeting seems false since you know exactly who is calling you. It could be because I am in my 40s and didn’t grow up with cellphones.
Aimee in San Antonio
Dear Aimee: The customary greeting is still to say hello. However, because we now have caller ID, which gives us the advantage of knowing who the caller is, many people answer their phones by addressing the person by name (i.e., “Hello, Aimee!’’).
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.