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Abby: Bride wants wedding guests to check politics

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: My fiance and I are getting married in a year. We have some very close gay friends, and I have gay family members on my mom’s side. The majority of our family is gay-friendly, but a few of them on my father’s side are very open about their dislike of the LGBT community.

Our ceremony will be at a Unitarian Universalist church because we love that they are supportive of the LGBT community and want everyone to feel comfortable and accepted on our big day. I’m terrified that my family members will do or say something to hurt or offend guests at our wedding who have same-sex partners.

I am considering putting a note on my wedding website that our wedding will be a celebration of love, and to please set aside political and personal beliefs and accept every one of our guests during this happy occasion. Would this be appropriate? I don’t know how else to convey the message that we will not tolerate any hateful or offensive remarks or actions against our loved ones.

Bride For Marriage Equality

Dear Bride: Do not post that message on your website. Your message should be delivered via a telephone conversation with the people you think may have a problem. A way to phrase it would be to tell them you are planning your wedding and that some of the guests in attendance will be same-sex couples. Ask if this would make them uncomfortable, and if the answer is yes, do not invite them.

Dear Abby: I’m a 14-year-old girl, and my mother just got home from rehab. I have been living with my grandmother for a year and a half.

I want to tell my mother my feelings, but I don’t want to hurt her. I love her, but I’m still not over what she has done. She is barely home. She has meetings, and she likes to stay with her boyfriend. I think it’s too soon. She came home only a week ago. What do I do, Abby?

Confused Teen

Dear Confused: You have my sympathy. I hope your mother’s rehabilitation will be successful. It’s good that she is going to meetings, and I agree with you that it’s too soon for her to be staying with her boyfriend.

However, she’s unlikely to accept hearing it from you or me, which is why you should talk to your grandmother about your feelings. Your mother might accept it if she hears from your grandmother that should there be any “bumps” in her relationship with this man — and there usually are a few — that they could jeopardize her sobriety.

Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.