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Abby: Ex-wife’s anger at friend’s betrayal spills over

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: My ex-husband had an affair with a woman who was one of my dearest friends. My heart is broken; my marriage is over. I have lost my home and my friend. It has been a struggle for me to recover.

My daughter, with whom I am very close, continues to have a relationship with this woman. While I know it’s not my place to tell her who to be friends with (she’s 22), I can’t help but feel betrayed.

My daughter is pregnant, and this woman seems to be attempting to play mother and push her way into every detail of my daughter’s pregnancy. It’s extremely upsetting to me to have to share one more thing with her. She already took my home and husband; I would like to keep my daughter and grandbaby. What to do?

The Real Grandma-To-Be

Dear Real Grandma: Although you cannot cut this woman completely out of your life because she is now with your ex, calmly discuss this with your daughter. She may have reasons that you are unaware of for wanting to include the woman to the extent that she has.

Dear Abby: How do you deal with adult “children” who ignore issues about their health? My 30-something son had a root canal a few days ago. His face is swollen, he has lost sleep and is in pain. His wife has tried everything to get him to get it checked out, and she just called me in desperation.

Why does he do this? It isn’t the first time she and others have begged him to take care of himself. She’s pregnant and they have two other small kids. He has insurance, so it’s not about money. It’s just so stressful for those of us who love him.

Questioning My Son’s Sanity

Dear Questioning: Some men feel that acknowledging pain is showing weakness. They think that if they just “gut it out” a while longer, things will get better. And while many of them do, many also don’t.

Pick up the phone and tell your daughter-in-law to call the dentist who did the root canal and ask whether what her husband is experiencing is normal. And if the answer is that it’s not, she should tell her husband that “the surgeon wants him to come in for a recheck” to be sure his wounds haven’t become infected.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.