Abby: Bride’s wedding plans complicate shower etiquette
Dear Abby: My younger sister is planning a destination wedding this summer. Recently, she had a courthouse wedding for health insurance purposes because she’s going back to school full-time.
I am the matron of honor and she also has a maid of honor (which I am confused about; can you have both?). She is still planning her destination wedding because she won’t consider herself “really married” until the formal ceremony. Save-the-date notices were already sent.
I told her I didn’t feel comfortable throwing a bachelorette party since she’s already married. She was fine with it, and mentioned the maid of honor may have a bonfire with their friends.
I thought a lingerie bridal shower would be nice since they have been living together for some time and don’t need household items.
Is a bridal shower appropriate after a wedding? I feel that it should be lightheartedly disclosed on the bridal shower invitation that they they have already married. Is this OK?
Jessica, Matron Of Honor
Dear Jessica: If you wish to throw a lingerie shower, I think it would be sweet, although showers are technically not supposed to be hosted by family members. Her friends would probably enjoy it. But to disclose on the invitation that your sister is already married — lightheartedly or not — would be in poor taste.
Dear Abby: I am mature for being 16. However, I have a few quirks that I prefer not to tell anyone about because when I do, most of the feedback I get is negative.
First, I don’t like watching PG-13 movies, so my favorite TV shows and movies are for kids. My mom and sister keep telling me how dumb and stupid it is and that they’re surprised I don’t watch things “more my age.” I don’t call their shows stupid. I hate telling people my favorite TV shows because of the kind of reaction I get from the people close to me.
Second, I LOVE stuffed animals. Last time I counted, I had around 60. All of them have value to me and make me happy.
Is there something wrong with having that many?
One of my sister’s famous quotes is, “How come you have them if you don’t use them?” Occasionally she has tried to take stuff from me because of her “philosophy.”
Is there something wrong with me? Or should I ignore the nasty comments?
Kid At Heart In The Midwest
Dear Kid At Heart: There is no accounting for taste. Many adults still read the funnies. I know this for certain because I am one of them.
We ALL have our quirks, and that includes your mother and your sister. Yours harm no one, and if they bring you pleasure, I see no reason not to indulge yourself. Your mom and sister may be teasing you, so stop rising to the bait.
P.S. Your sister may think your stuffed animal collection is juvenile, but she shouldn’t be taking them without your permission because that’s stealing, and stealing IS a serious problem.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.