Dear Abby: We moved to the country, but we’re not really far out of town. My educated, urbane, professional husband who has always lived in the city, now bypasses our 2 1/2 bathrooms and relieves himself outdoors in a “king of all he surveys” pose.

We no longer have children living at home, and he refrains from doing it when we have company or there’s any possibility of his being seen, but it still drives me crazy! Could I be jealous because I am female, or should I join him? Is it truly as unsanitary as it seems, and is my letter a “first”?

Tempted In California

Dear Tempted: “Public” urination is against the law in most communities because of sanitation — as well as indecent exposure — issues. That said, however, the practice is not as unusual as you may believe. If you want to try it, I can’t stop you, but I do suggest you bring along some tissue and plan ahead for a place to dispose of it.

As to whether your letter is a first, the answer is no. The topic arose about 20 years ago when “The Whiz-zard’s Wife” wrote me about her husband doing it after dark, and occasionally in the side yard during daylight hours. She wondered if it was a normal male ritual. I replied:

“This is not a subject that’s often discussed, but I suspect the practice is not unusual. Dogs and cats urinate to mark their territory. Your husband may be doing it for the same reason. For pets, the problem can be resolved by neutering; however, I wouldn’t recommend that for your husband. The Los Angeles Police Department informs me that it’s ‘not illegal as long as it is not in public view.’

I then suggested she check with the police in her city to be sure there are no ordinances against it.

Dear Abby: I’m dating a man who insists that I pay for our dinners every time he comes to visit. He doesn’t even offer. One time when I didn’t pick up the check he reached across the table and handed it to me. I’m not sure how to handle this.

Worth A Treat

in West Virginia

Dear Worth A Treat: The next time this user comes to visit and hands you the check, hand it BACK and walk out of the restaurant. If he claims to have “forgotten his wallet,” as well as his manners, stop dating him.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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