Abby: Marriage suffers from frequent separation

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: My husband and I are both active duty military. We have been married for three years and have an 18-month-old daughter together. My husband is sweet, handsome and a great father. We got married very quickly, and I think that’s where our problems began.

He isn’t good at communication or showing affection, which leaves me feeling lonely. This, on top of being separated several times due to the military, makes for a very shaky marriage. I have cheated on him with eight different people since our wedding. The affair I am most ashamed of was when I was pregnant with our daughter.

I’m currently in counseling, but I’m still unable to curb my cravings. He always forgives me and allows us to continue being married. The problem is, I don’t know if he’s really the one for me. I know cheating is wrong and that I’m not only hurting him, but my daughter as well.

Should we divorce? Or should we continue trying to be together? We have talked about marriage counseling, but we are separated so much it makes it hard to get into a good groove.

Is He The One For Me?

Dear Is He: I’m glad you’re in counseling because it’s where you need to be right now. The questions you are asking me are ones you should be raising with your therapist.

Separation is part of a military marriage. I agree that for you and your husband to fix what’s wrong with your marriage, he will need to be present and accounted for. I do not think you should make any decision about divorce until he returns from his deployment. But I DO think that until he’s back, if you cannot “curb your cravings,” you should take every precaution you can against STDs.

Dear Abby: I have a friend who uses her elderly mother’s handicap placard to park in handicap spots even when her mother is not in the car. My friend is able-bodied. I think this is wrong. Handicap parking spots should be reserved for people who truly need them. When she offers to drive me somewhere, how should I handle it?

Unsure in Cleveland

Dear Unsure: A way to handle it would be to tell your friend how you feel about what she’s doing and refuse to let her park in the handicap zone, or insist on doing the driving.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.