Dear Abby: I have never been married. I’ve been perceived as a “playboy” for many years now. I don’t mean to be, but when I sense the potential for a passionate romantic encounter with flowers, candy, champagne, pot (and an occasional Quaalude), the urge takes over.

I was never considered “hot” until I turned 50 and decided to get in shape. I had a hair transplant, a neck lift and lost 25 pounds. Shouldn’t I continue to enjoy this? But I worry about the comments about my age. I look about 38.

Max In The Midwest

Dear Max: If you are wooing adult women with flowers and candy, that’s the traditional way of going about it. However, if you are using alcohol, pot and Quaaludes to render them so dizzy they can’t refuse you, it is considered rape — a prosecutable offense no matter how good you look for your age. If you doubt me, just look at the news.

Dear Abby: My husband and I are pregnant, and we are arguing over the gender of the baby. We have wanted this child for a long time and had trouble conceiving. I won’t care if it’s a boy or a girl, but he is adamant that he wants a boy. He has even gone so far as to say that he will be disappointed if it isn’t.

We find out the gender this month, and I’m not sure how to prepare or if we should even find out. Help!

Disappointed in Ohio

Dear Disappointed: Many men fantasize about having a son, a “mini-me” to teach sports to, just as many women dream of having a daughter and what her first prom will be like or helping her to plan her wedding. When most couples have a baby, the first thing they do is thank God the baby is healthy.

Little girls have been known to wrap their daddies around their fingers before they’re old enough to walk. The same is true for baby boys and their mothers. Please don’t take your husband’s spouting off so seriously; it’ll pass. As to whether you should determine the sex of your baby before birth, consider this: It will give you time to color-coordinate the nursery and layette.

Dear Abby: My good friend injured her back, so I offered to help out with chores and errands while she recovers. One of the errands was to pick up some groceries, which included items for a barbecue party. No problem. However, I later learned she threw a grand cookout on Memorial Day, complete with boat rides, jet skis, fireworks and tons of food — the food I picked up for her. The kicker? I wasn’t invited! Am I immature for feeling angry and left out?

Trying To Be An

Adult About This

Dear Trying: I don’t think you are immature. You called this woman a good friend. Unless an important fact was omitted from your letter, your feelings are normal. The only “good friend” in this relationship appears to be you.

Dear Abby: My 23-year-old son, “John,” got his girlfriend, “Jane,” pregnant. Everyone seemed to be happy, even though they were not going to get married.

Well, they had a big fight and Jane moved out. They say their relationship is over and irreparable. I want to have a baby shower for my son because he is going to need stuff at his house, too. Jane does not want to attend. Can I have a baby shower for my son?

Grandma In Waiting

Dear Grandma: Under the circumstances, a shower for your son would be appropriate for the reason you stated in your letter. Jane’s absence should not prevent there from being one. However, I hope with time the drama will subside, and Jane will realize children need both parents present in their lives and will be able to successfully co-parent with your son.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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