Abby: Best friend’s loyalty may be shifting

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: I’m in middle school. “Jill” has been my best friend for 11 years. She’s always been shy, while I am outgoing. Recently, she has been hanging out with the class “ho,” “Kelly,” and I’m more left out. Kelly is turning Jill into a slut, too. Jill isn’t excited to hang with me anymore and prefers to be with Kelly’s friends smoking or drinking.

Jill still calls us best friends, but I’m afraid she’ll betray me and tell Kelly everything we talk about. We used to make fun of Kelly for being a slut. Now I feel like I can’t open up to my best friend. It hurts to see them together and not inviting me to things. What do I do?

Totally Left Out

Dear Left Out: Calling a girl a slut or a “ho” is a form of bullying. It won’t bring Jill back to you or closer to you. In fact, it will likely do the opposite.

Because you feel you are no longer as close to Jill as you were, recognize that it’s time to widen your circle of friends and explore activities that do not involve her or Kelly. The more friends you make, the less dependent you will be on one person.

Dear Abby: What does it say about a man when he won’t accept a friend request on Facebook from his wife of 20 years?

He has been unfaithful in the past. He has several hundred friends on there from all over the country as he travels a lot. But he not only refuses to accept my request, he also refuses to say why.

I’m new to Facebook; he has been on for years. I don’t have many friends because I’ve been pretty isolated, and now I want to reconnect. But if my own husband won’t accept my friend request, should I even bother trying to friend anyone else? Oh, and if I friend any of my old male friends, he’ll accuse ME of cheating, even though that’s his thing, not mine.

No Followers In The West

Dear No Followers: Following your husband on Facebook is the least of your problems. You already know he’s secretive and has cheated on you. If you feel isolated, you have the right to reach out to anyone, whether they’re male or female.

Oh, and one more thing. If he accuses you of cheating, it may be because he has or is. Do you really need me to tell you that if you’re unhappy you need to talk with a licensed therapist about it? Please consider it.

A note to parents of young children: If your little ones will be out trick-or-treating tonight, please be sure they are supervised to assure their safety.

Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.