Abby: Friend working 3 jobs envies man on easy street
Dear Abby: I am having issues with a friend who gets handed most everything he wants. I had to grow up when I was very young, pay my own way for things and take care of myself. I work three jobs to pay my rent in a house with four other people while still pursuing my passion.
This friend is unemployed. He lives in an apartment his parents pay for and goes on frequent road trips. I have reached a point where I have become seriously envious, and I’m not sure how to stop feeling frustrated that he has an easier life than I do.
I care about our friendship, but it’s physically painful sometimes when he talks about these luxuries that I can’t afford. Should I cut off the relationship? Is this something I should talk about with him or something I need to work on myself?
Envious in New York
Dear Envious: Why not do both? Tell him how his going on and on about his “luxuries” makes you feel. If that doesn’t increase his sensitivity to the disparity in your situations, you have my permission to end the relationship.
HOWEVER, while you are working on yourself, please understand that your friend’s parents are doing him no favors. “Children” raised without an incentive to succeed are not often successful in life. They don’t have the tools you have. You are independent. He isn’t. Rather than work to build success in a profession, he’s taking road trips. You know the value of hard work, and with each of the jobs you work, you are gaining experience and focus.
From my perspective, if I had to say which of you is richer, it is you. Step back and you will recognize you have nothing to be jealous about, and you’ll be able to change your thinking.
Dear Abby: I have been dating a man for a few months, and we really seem to have hit it off. I recently found out that he has been hiding some information about his home life that isn’t flattering to him. Should I tell him that I’m aware of this information or dismiss it?
Uncertain in Arizona
Dear Uncertain: Do not dismiss it. Talk to him about it, if only to find out if the information you were given was accurate. (It may not be.) However, if he has deliberately misled you, recognize it’s time to end the relationship.
Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.