Abby: Feeling like the odd person out at the prom
Dear Abby: I’m a high school junior, and my school’s prom is coming up. I don’t have a date. I completely understand that I don’t need a date for prom to have fun. However, within my group of friends, we are organizing who will sit at our 18-person table, and I’m the only dateless person at our table, which means I’m the odd one out (eight couples plus me for a total of 17 seats filled).
I know I should try to have fun even if I’m the only one by myself, but the situation makes me feel so alone. I asked two different guys if they wanted to go with me: One ended up going with a different girl and will be sitting at our table. The other didn’t want to go with me.
How should I handle this situation and be able to have fun at prom, even though I’ll be sticking out as the only person in our entire group who couldn’t manage to find someone to go with – even as a friend?
– Anonymous in Pennsylvania
Dear Anonymous: I understand why you would feel alone under these circumstances, but the truth is you WON’T be alone. You will be attending the prom with 16 friends. If you concentrate on that, you CAN have a good time hearing music you enjoy, surrounded by friends who are supportive and dancing if you wish to.
Dear Abby: My partner is addicted to the phone. One day last week she spent seven hours talking to friends. There is one friend in particular she spends upwards of two hours a day talking to. On weekends they often talk three times in one day.
This happens hour after hour, and her friend loves to call at 6 in the evening, meaning we often don’t eat until well after 7. Last week I clocked her at 16 hours on the phone with just this one woman. Do I have a problem here? Or does she?
– Calling Out in Florida
Dear Calling: You both have a problem. Hers is her addiction to her phone. Yours is the inability to convey to her that what she’s doing deprives you of sharing dinners together on a regular schedule, and robs you of time that could be spent communicating with each other. And that presents a danger to your relationship.
Dear Abby: I am a 27-year-old married man with two kids. They are 4 and 1 years old. I love my little family, and there has been a lot of “newness” to my life over the past few years.
My issue is that I’m starting to feel like I’m losing my identity. I no longer go out with friends because I feel guilty leaving my wife home alone with the kids. I also work a lot, so many nights I come home late and just crash. I have thought about taking a weekend trip alone to sort of reconnect with myself and get some things done, but would that be selfish?
– Identity Loss
Dear Loss: It wouldn’t be selfish if you gave your wife the opportunity to take a similar sanity break when she feels the need. Or better yet, find a trusted baby sitter and the two of you go together.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.