Dear Abby: Parents up in arms over boy’s photos posted online

Dear Abby
Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: My husband and I have a happy, adorable 18-month-old son. Understandably, he’s the light of our lives.

Early in my pregnancy, I decided to not post a pregnancy announcement or pictures of him on social media. I felt my son should have the autonomy to build his own social media presence as he saw fit. During the past year, I have felt comfortable sharing about five pictures of him with my 40-plus close friends and family who follow that social media account.

My mother-in-law has been posting pictures of my son to her social media account for a while now. It bothered me, but I didn’t voice any concerns because I didn’t want to overreact. A few weeks ago, my husband texted her a picture of our son, himself and me. A few hours later, it ended up on her social media account with a filter altering the picture’s original color!

My husband and I became extremely upset about it, and my husband agreed to tell her that she could no longer share pictures of our son on social media. Is this appropriate? I don’t want to be one of those controlling, domineering parents, but I firmly believe that my mother-in-law should have asked permission prior to sharing any pictures of our son. Am I correct?

— New Mom In New York

Dear Mom: You and your husband should ask yourselves what has upset you more — that his mother shared a family picture with her circle of friends (as you have with 40-plus of yours) or that she altered the color. If you prefer she post no more pictures, ask her to stop and explain why. If it’s the fact that she took artistic license, I think you are overreacting and you should let it go.

Dear Abby: I am a 70-year-old widower. For the past year I’ve been dating a woman, “Celeste,” and our relationship was growing closer (we were intimate, and we seemed to be becoming a couple). Because she’s a big fan of a particular performer who was going to be in our area, I bought tickets for us two months in advance. They were quite expensive. Celeste knew about it and was eager to go.

On the day of the performance, when I went to pick her up, she informed me that she wouldn’t be able to go. A friend had just come into town (passing through on business) and surprised her with a visit. She apologized and promised she’d explain later that weekend.

Well, the man turns out to be a former beau she hadn’t seen in about a year. Celeste seems to think I should be OK with her canceling our date, but I can’t help but feel she was wrong to do it so she could spend the weekend with a former lover. (What am I? A consolation prize?) I ended the relationship over the brush-off she gave me, but she is trying to renew things. Was I wrong to take this as serious enough to end the relationship?

— Perplexed Ex In Missouri

Dear Ex: You were not wrong. Celeste stood you up, which was, to say the least, inconsiderate of your feelings. (Did she offer to reimburse you for those tickets? I’m betting she didn’t.) She’s trying to renew the romance with you (for now) because her former beau’s visit ended. When he called, she should have told him she had a previous commitment and honored it. That she didn’t shows she is self-centered and will continue to be if you allow it.

Eligible men your age are a hot commodity. It shouldn’t be too hard to find someone who appreciates what you have to offer. Move on.

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