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“Outta’ My Mind on a Monday Moanin’”

This headline just in: “Austrians told to stop kissing cows.”

It’s udder madness in Austria!

And now “the REST of the story."

You just knew there had to be a social media connection here, and you’re right.

A Swiss app (that will go nameless here) launched a bizarre Cow Kiss Challenge to raise money for an unnamed charity. People all over Switzerland, Germany and Austria can be found online, captured by friends and family on cell phones, moseying up to the unsuspecting bovine, puckering up and planting a big ole kiss on the confused animals.

Everyone, including farmers and politicians, and I suspect even the cows think this is a really bad idea. Both the kisser AND the kissee can get sick. And that’s besides the major “yuck” factor.

I think I figured out what the benefiting charity might be:

”P.T.T.D.B.U.C.”  

People Trampled to Death by Upset Cows. (Especially cows protecting their calves.)

Get out your calendar:

  • Music of the Night: June 13 at 6:30 p.m., Anderson Villa in Grosse Pointe Shores. A gala fundraiser in support of the Grosse Pointe Historical Society. Gourmet food and drinks, music and entertainment and vintage autos on display. Order tickets at www.gphistorical.org
  • FRANK: The Man. The Music. June 15 at 8 p.m. The Fox Theatre. Starring Detroit’s own Bob Anderson and featuring the 32-piece Johnny Trudell Orchestra. Tickets: 313Presents.com, Ticketmaster.com and 1-800-745-3000.
  • 38th Annual CAPUCHIN Souper Summer Celebration, June 22 at 7:30 p.m., Comerica Park. Edmund T. Ahee Jewelers  presents their event to benefit the Capuchin Soup Kitchen. This year’s theme is “Summer Night in the City," a great evening of entertainment, food,  libations and a great raffle.

Paul W. Smith is host of “The Paul W. Smith Show” on WJR-AM (760) from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday-Friday.

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Read or Share this story: https://www.detroitnews.com/story/opinion/2019/06/10/opinion-kissing-cows-udder-madness/1366650001/