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“Outta’ My Mind on a Monday Moanin’ ”

I can’t make this stuff up!

Two people in Huntsville, Alabama, were arrested for brawling at a restaurant buffet. Hey, I like crab legs as much as anyone, but apparently people had to wait in line for 10 minutes for the Crab Leg bowl to be replenished, and apparently, 10 minutes was just too long to wait. Tongs were commandeered and used like fencing swords. One woman was seen beating a man. She was arrested and charged with assault. He, the guy getting beaten, was charged with disorderly conduct.

Can’t wait till the next time it’s crab night at Meteor Buffet in Huntsville.

I also couldn’t make this up.

I’m all for people making as much money as they can, and certainly the young baseball player Bryce Harper has done just that. The obviously very talented Harper just signed a 13-year contract with the Philadelphia Phillies for the richest deal in major league history: $330 million.

That’s over $25 million per year; over $2 million a month; or over $480,000 a week. Or to put it another way, $25 million per year equals about 370 nurses or 410 teachers.

I’ve got an idea!

Instead of our employees in Washington, D.C., spending their days with convicted liars and every waking hour trying to unseat a duly elected president, how about going after the people who are truly endangering the lives of our families.

How about really getting into how we could have ever found ourselves in a position to lose so many people to opioids, and make sure it can never happen again.

Paul W. Smith is host of “The Paul W. Smith Show” on WJR-AM (760) from 5:30-9 a.m. Monday-Friday.

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